As we enjoy the month when the 4th of July greets us, freedom is a primary theme. Just look around. Flags flutter in the summer breeze, displays of patriotic red, white, and blue. Symbolic colors of freedom pop up everywhere. Signs proclaim: “Let freedom ring. Home of the free and the land of the brave.” Firework stands burst forth, anticipating a glow of a show for the 4th of July. A glance at the offerings around town, on social media, or on television confirms that freedom tops the charts. Symphonies, parades, and plays capitalize on songs, themes, and plots about liberty, independence, and choice.
But what do these ideas of choice and freedom mean as we follow Christ? Let’s look at Deuteronomy 30:11-20. It helps us consider how choices matter. God wants us to know that the choice exists between life and death, blessings and curses.
We’re choosing what matters, what’s of importance. In choosing life or death, we make choices about following God or not following Him. This means choosing to love God, walk in His ways, surrender to His Kingship, obey His voice, keep His commandments, pay attention to what He says, and cling to the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The choice between life and death seems stark, doesn’t it? Yet the reality is every day the choices we make move us either towards life, God Himself, or death, the enemy of our soul, the one who cannot sustain our life, and will suck the very marrow out of our bones.
The Interior Work of Freedom
Being an Ignatian-trained giver of the 19th Annotation of The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, spiritual freedom stands as a frequent theme talked about with exercitants, those receiving the Exercises. It’s also a theme I talk about often with God for my own heart.
Tuesday night found me wide awake at 2:02 AM. The dark of night matched the gloom of knotted feelings within me. As Ignatius has taught me, I paid attention to the interior movements of my soul. Those clues hinted at what’s distracting, annoying, or disappointing me. The clutch of concern in my belly unsettled me. My mind spun fast like a pinwheel in the changeable winds at the beach. I gulped air, as my breath shallowed. Something seemed amiss in the dusky place of my soul.
Getting to the root of the knots within me, I named mottos, myths, and lies that impact my body, mind, spirit, and heart, as well as my intimacy with Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Ignatius taught about desolations and consolations, human or spiritual, ways that move me closer to or further away from God. Noting emotions, longings, resistances, feelings, attractions, repulsions, desires, memories, or images, together with the Trinity, I discovered what’s tangled up within and what flows freely with ease and joy.
When Freedom Feels Elusive
Spiritual freedom’s invitation habitually releases me to be fully alive. I know my belovedness. I abound with hope. Lack of spiritual freedom does the opposite; it brings a lack of life. Scarcity shutters the light. Abandonment seems inevitable.
John 10:10 speaks of what happens amid choices that go well or that go awry. Not only do I have to contend with myself, but, as Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” There’s an enemy, and I am in his crosshairs.
Colossians 3 also offers pathways that lead to spiritual freedom. Because we are Christ’s own, infused by the Spirit’s authority and empowerment, we can choose to bring death to the gnarly parts of our earthly nature and clothe ourselves in the joyful array of heaven’s perspective. Yet such daily living is by no means easy nor automatic. It requires awareness, and it requests attention.
A Physical Reminder of Inner Work
Five months ago, I endured a hip replacement. Last week, my physical therapist reevaluated my muscle strength and functional ability. From my perspective, I’m doing great. I’m able to walk up to two miles now, unassisted by a cane or a walker. I can climb steps without deep guttural groanings as I ascend or descend. Though awkward, I can get down into the soil to work in my garden, or I can sprawl on the carpet to play with grandchildren. (Getting back up is another story. To return to an upright position looks as wonky as a stiff giraffe angling for the water hole.)
The physical therapist finished his assessment. Though complementary in some regards, he saddled me with a stack of exercises to do three times a week from now until I reach the far side of the moon. He knows what to look for, so he sees where muscles are not freely moving and how that impacts core strength and body motions. I sighed, disappointed that there is far more work to do than I imagined, despite the improvements at hand.
At 2:02 AM on Tuesday, the assessment of my astute physical therapist comes to mind, only this time, the assessment I need concerns the state of my soul, mind, heart, and spirit. Halfway through 2025, I check in. I wonder about the state of my spiritual health right now and ponder what it’s been since the year began. What spiritual muscles need more core strength, more flexibility, more freedom? What’s thrown me off my normal gait, keeping me off center, with muscles askew?
The Examen: A Trellis Toward Freedom
Ignatius wisely offered the Examen as a tool for leaning well into intimacy with God, being wise, and living life to the full, being in spiritual freedom. I return to this familiar reflective posture, rehearsing what helps me rightly assess where I am. I want to reclaim spiritual freedom so I’m peering in the shadowy places where such lack hides. By choosing one specific focus for the Examen, spiritual freedom, I make an intentional choice to focus on the acts and attitudes that help or hamper my right-now life with God. The rhythm of the Examen relaxes me, offering a trellis to explore what’s mounting up within me.
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- Rejoicing, I name gratitude I feel.
- Recalibrating, I ask God’s help to see through His eyes.
- Retracing what’s brought me to this knotted space, I review my weeks and months with Jesus.
- Remorseful, I experience godly sorrow, asking God’s generous forgiveness.
- Resolving, I ask God for a particular Grace needed for the days ahead.
That was unexpected! An Examen at 2:02 AM settles me into peace. I can breathe again. My mind isn’t running wild like a mustang in the high sierras. I tuck myself under the sheets and roll over into sleep. When dawn light dances through the eastern windows, I wake refreshed, breathing deeply and with hope surfacing. I’m ready to make choices that will allow freedom to ring in the home of my heart that seeks to be ever spiritually free in the land of wise choices that help me be brave.
Most days, the Examen accompanies me through an overview of my day. Once a month, before I meet with my spiritual director, I capture the perspective of the past four weeks through a more extensive scanning of my soul. Every quarter, I pause and ponder what’s gone on within me, interior movements either towards God or away from Him. Midyear and at year’s end, I set aside a few hours to search my journals. I’m glancing at the state of my soul, searching for how my spiritual life has grown. As I cast an eye over the ways I engage with God, I visualize places of deep growth and check in on places where weakness has curtailed maturity.
What about you? What habits help you consider your spiritual life as you take stock, looking into the past, studying the present, and imagining the future? What’s the state of your heart and your spiritual freedom?
